Dirty Dan:
It's 3:00 AM on a Saturday night. You're not sober and you are walking around College Ave....why? One reason. Food. You are not only looking for food...but you are trying to either get a discount or get some food for free. Ways of doing this? First, you can talk dirty with the men behind the counter. I once made out with my friend to get free chicken fingers and fries...another time I wanted a "fat mojo" sandwich so I talked about the cashier's mojo which got me a free slice of pizza...so in other words: Men are horny bastards who would do anything to see something college girls do some dumb ass shit. So anyway, back to the story. One day I was extremely drunk and when I am drunk I do not remember faces. I remember details and conversations but not faces. So I was on my mission to find free food when I start talking to this black man outside a pizza place. I only talked to him because of that one mission that was on my mind. I gave him my real number (bad idea) and don't remember the conversation...at all. But I do remember that he was black and had on a red shirt (his shirt was actually orange I later found out) Well, I didn't get any free food that night BUT he texted me the next day! and then again the day after. I didn't respond both times. IN ADDITION, a couple days ago he CALLED me. Doesn't he get the hint?!?!? I don't even know what this freakin guy looks like! Dumbass.
THAT SAME NIGHT: Another story from that night was that I was still at my friend's house and I was drunk and I wanted to see bad bitty's boobs. I mean I was drunk and I did not want to see them in a lesbionic way. I've seen all my other best friends' tits except hers so it only makes sense that I need to see them. So I asked her all night and finally we were alone in a room and she showed me her boobs! (she also told me not to tell anyone that she showed them to me...and the moment RIGHT AFTER she telling me I still decided to tell my friends "I love bad bitty's boobs") The next day the story was brought up but I had no recollection of her showing me. I don't remember it at all. I remember that I wanted to see them but of nothing else. So that whole night I was trying to see her tits and I ended up forgetting all of it. Wtf. I need to start remembering faces and/or boobs when I'm drunk.
