Bad bitty's boy that she is talking to is coming to visit her....
dirty dee: wowie!!
bad bitty: I knowwww eeek
dirty dee: What you gonna wear? lol
bad bitty: No idea. gotta look like a girl...i cant wait to have sex
dirty dee: i thought you were on your period
bad bitty: i was but my friend told me if you eat lemons it goes away ive literally eaten like 10 lemons and its gone
dirty dee: lmaooo
bad bitty: im eating one now
----------
dirty dee: look at you as you part the red sea, sucking on the lemon getting ready for he
bad bitty: citrus fruits in my mouth, its a must if he goes down south
bad bitty: ok this must be deleted from facebook
dirty dee: haha i agree
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
This about a Rap, the kind i like to eat, put the "w" in front so I can grub on some meat
Here is a text conversation me and bad bitty had one time...we were talking about our lack of money...and then food came up....
Bad Bitty: oh velllll vhatewer
Dirty D: chicken pot pie, spread it on my thighs
Bad Bitty: i wanna do exactly that
Dirty D: filet of steak is my favorite kind of meat, put it on my toes dangle on my feet
Bad Bitty: i prefer buffalo wings, rub them on me while my booty sings
Dirty D: yeahhhh baby that how i like it, chocolate sauce all over my armpit
Bad Bitty: i want bacon
Dirty D: damnit you ruined my fun
Bad Bitty: sausage please put it on a bun, i dont wanna ruin manzis fun
Dirty D: bad bitty always in the mood for black beans, and i dont mean the vegetables by any means
Bad Bitty: bananas in my mouth jiggle on your kiwis, when the fruit is gone i say more please
Dirty D: dont forget the back side of the ice cream mountain, i lick it in and out like a water fountain
Bad Bitty: you forgot about the waffle cone, dip me in sprinkles and im ready to bone
Dirty D: take that whipped cream put a cherry on top, when you lick it all up it really hits the spot
Bad bitty: enough about sweets i prefer salty treats, give me pretzels lots of cheese, makes me get down on my knees
Dirty D: margaritas naaaaa i just want the salt from the rim, sprinkle it on me and I will let you in
Bad bitty: pizza cooking in the oven of bricks, bring me some and i'll give you some licks
Dirty D: chinese lo mein, tiny noodles taste the same
Bad bitty: chicken in my shrimp fried rice, dont mess it up or i wont be nice
Dirty D: ok bad bitty my hw is slacking, gotta get these eggs to start cracking
Bad Bitt: hahaha were dumb
Dirty D: yes..yes we are hahahaha
......ok now im hungry.
Bad Bitty: oh velllll vhatewer
Dirty D: chicken pot pie, spread it on my thighs
Bad Bitty: i wanna do exactly that
Dirty D: filet of steak is my favorite kind of meat, put it on my toes dangle on my feet
Bad Bitty: i prefer buffalo wings, rub them on me while my booty sings
Dirty D: yeahhhh baby that how i like it, chocolate sauce all over my armpit
Bad Bitty: i want bacon
Dirty D: damnit you ruined my fun
Bad Bitty: sausage please put it on a bun, i dont wanna ruin manzis fun
Dirty D: bad bitty always in the mood for black beans, and i dont mean the vegetables by any means
Bad Bitty: bananas in my mouth jiggle on your kiwis, when the fruit is gone i say more please
Dirty D: dont forget the back side of the ice cream mountain, i lick it in and out like a water fountain
Bad Bitty: you forgot about the waffle cone, dip me in sprinkles and im ready to bone
Dirty D: take that whipped cream put a cherry on top, when you lick it all up it really hits the spot
Bad bitty: enough about sweets i prefer salty treats, give me pretzels lots of cheese, makes me get down on my knees
Dirty D: margaritas naaaaa i just want the salt from the rim, sprinkle it on me and I will let you in
Bad bitty: pizza cooking in the oven of bricks, bring me some and i'll give you some licks
Dirty D: chinese lo mein, tiny noodles taste the same
Bad bitty: chicken in my shrimp fried rice, dont mess it up or i wont be nice
Dirty D: ok bad bitty my hw is slacking, gotta get these eggs to start cracking
Bad Bitt: hahaha were dumb
Dirty D: yes..yes we are hahahaha
......ok now im hungry.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Rutgers University
Dirty Dan:
It's 3:00 AM on a Saturday night. You're not sober and you are walking around College Ave....why? One reason. Food. You are not only looking for food...but you are trying to either get a discount or get some food for free. Ways of doing this? First, you can talk dirty with the men behind the counter. I once made out with my friend to get free chicken fingers and fries...another time I wanted a "fat mojo" sandwich so I talked about the cashier's mojo which got me a free slice of pizza...so in other words: Men are horny bastards who would do anything to see something college girls do some dumb ass shit. So anyway, back to the story. One day I was extremely drunk and when I am drunk I do not remember faces. I remember details and conversations but not faces. So I was on my mission to find free food when I start talking to this black man outside a pizza place. I only talked to him because of that one mission that was on my mind. I gave him my real number (bad idea) and don't remember the conversation...at all. But I do remember that he was black and had on a red shirt (his shirt was actually orange I later found out) Well, I didn't get any free food that night BUT he texted me the next day! and then again the day after. I didn't respond both times. IN ADDITION, a couple days ago he CALLED me. Doesn't he get the hint?!?!? I don't even know what this freakin guy looks like! Dumbass.
THAT SAME NIGHT: Another story from that night was that I was still at my friend's house and I was drunk and I wanted to see bad bitty's boobs. I mean I was drunk and I did not want to see them in a lesbionic way. I've seen all my other best friends' tits except hers so it only makes sense that I need to see them. So I asked her all night and finally we were alone in a room and she showed me her boobs! (she also told me not to tell anyone that she showed them to me...and the moment RIGHT AFTER she telling me I still decided to tell my friends "I love bad bitty's boobs") The next day the story was brought up but I had no recollection of her showing me. I don't remember it at all. I remember that I wanted to see them but of nothing else. So that whole night I was trying to see her tits and I ended up forgetting all of it. Wtf. I need to start remembering faces and/or boobs when I'm drunk.
It's 3:00 AM on a Saturday night. You're not sober and you are walking around College Ave....why? One reason. Food. You are not only looking for food...but you are trying to either get a discount or get some food for free. Ways of doing this? First, you can talk dirty with the men behind the counter. I once made out with my friend to get free chicken fingers and fries...another time I wanted a "fat mojo" sandwich so I talked about the cashier's mojo which got me a free slice of pizza...so in other words: Men are horny bastards who would do anything to see something college girls do some dumb ass shit. So anyway, back to the story. One day I was extremely drunk and when I am drunk I do not remember faces. I remember details and conversations but not faces. So I was on my mission to find free food when I start talking to this black man outside a pizza place. I only talked to him because of that one mission that was on my mind. I gave him my real number (bad idea) and don't remember the conversation...at all. But I do remember that he was black and had on a red shirt (his shirt was actually orange I later found out) Well, I didn't get any free food that night BUT he texted me the next day! and then again the day after. I didn't respond both times. IN ADDITION, a couple days ago he CALLED me. Doesn't he get the hint?!?!? I don't even know what this freakin guy looks like! Dumbass.
THAT SAME NIGHT: Another story from that night was that I was still at my friend's house and I was drunk and I wanted to see bad bitty's boobs. I mean I was drunk and I did not want to see them in a lesbionic way. I've seen all my other best friends' tits except hers so it only makes sense that I need to see them. So I asked her all night and finally we were alone in a room and she showed me her boobs! (she also told me not to tell anyone that she showed them to me...and the moment RIGHT AFTER she telling me I still decided to tell my friends "I love bad bitty's boobs") The next day the story was brought up but I had no recollection of her showing me. I don't remember it at all. I remember that I wanted to see them but of nothing else. So that whole night I was trying to see her tits and I ended up forgetting all of it. Wtf. I need to start remembering faces and/or boobs when I'm drunk.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Our Obsessions
Some of the things we are obsessed with (besides alcohol and food of course):
-Pootie Tang: where our nick names come from, dirty dee doesnt speak english, bad bitty is really a black girl so it makes sense
-Bangs: lemme take you to the movies
-Patricia Lee/Mei Ling and Kim Shjarbeck/Ko0laidria: our other crazy friends
-Smang it: turquoise jeep!
-Hangover movie quotes: CLASSIC, pants at a time like this?
-"Just another day" : always applicable
-Shoes/Steve Madden: this man is a genius
-Love to take videos of ourselves doing completely absurd things (videos will most likely show up on our posts)
-Facebook: who isn't obsessed?
-Pootie Tang: where our nick names come from, dirty dee doesnt speak english, bad bitty is really a black girl so it makes sense
-Bangs: lemme take you to the movies
-Patricia Lee/Mei Ling and Kim Shjarbeck/Ko0laidria: our other crazy friends
-Smang it: turquoise jeep!
-Hangover movie quotes: CLASSIC, pants at a time like this?
-"Just another day" : always applicable
-Shoes/Steve Madden: this man is a genius
-Love to take videos of ourselves doing completely absurd things (videos will most likely show up on our posts)
-Facebook: who isn't obsessed?
ACHIVES
I saved these text message convos that were between me and bad bitty...enjoy. and remember....none of the names have been changed...uh ohhhhh
*Background information: I (dirty dee) made out with this kid who looks like jafar/squidward at my sorority formal. (i took him because we were friends...shoulda known better) His name is Maurice who is 6'11'. A week before I made out with this guy shea who was unbelievable infatuated with me for some reason. The guy donald is someone who britt had sex with who is fat and is the only person she regrets having sex with. Bad bitty's house arrest fiance is the guy she has a crush on who has a daughter...and remember bad bitty lovesssss black guys.
*Background information: I (dirty dee) made out with this kid who looks like jafar/squidward at my sorority formal. (i took him because we were friends...shoulda known better) His name is Maurice who is 6'11'. A week before I made out with this guy shea who was unbelievable infatuated with me for some reason. The guy donald is someone who britt had sex with who is fat and is the only person she regrets having sex with. Bad bitty's house arrest fiance is the guy she has a crush on who has a daughter...and remember bad bitty lovesssss black guys.
April 27, 2011 12:21am
Me: (Katy perry voice) I kissed Jafar and I liiiked it….I feel like Shea won’t mind it
Me: p.s. I saw Donald at second storey and he said that he thinks you don’t like him anymore because you don’t text him anymore…I was like gooooood lol
Britt: LOLOLL manzi and moorice sittin in a tree…
Me: oh geez lol I’m such an artard
Britt: BINGOOO once again I come out the victor. Jk. I had sex with him so I lose. As usual. Bc I’m never the victor. Oh well! At least my godchild will be 6’11
Britt: BINGOOO once again I come out the victor. Jk. I had sex with him so I lose. As usual. Bc I’m never the victor. Oh well! At least my godchild will be 6’11
Me: (katy perry voice) cus babyyy im an arrrtard…I hook up with giants and guys with boobs
Me: hahahahahhalololol I hate you yet youre so funny
Britt: I’m lolling like I think we’ve hit low points officially
Me: its so pathetic that its fucking hilarious
Britt: Its one of the funniest stages of life…omg what is wrong with us?! This is nuts.
Me: (katy perry voice) Jersey girls we are an embarrassment..guido poofs and kissing squidward
Me: Idk why I am turning everything into a katy perry song
Me: Probably because my life is a joke much like her music
Britt: We can have a joint wedding. It will have to be at my fiance’s house (since he is on house arrest) but at least were both guaranteed a flower girl (his daughter)
Me: I am legit laughing my ass of lol hahahahahha
Me: and a ring bearer that little boy that’s always in Maurice’s pictures
Britt: Yup! His nephew...more than likely his son but he’s using nephew as a coverup bc our track records show we’re attracted to babydaddys
Me: hahaha this is truuuuuue…I can’t think of anymore Katy perry songs
Britt: You didn’t use teenage dream
Britt: Oh btw word has gotten around about me dancing the night away with the 12 foot tall Neanderthal basketball player. He’s very openly “feelin me.” Hahahahahha
-----------------
April 27, 2011 11:26pm
Me: Ok dats foine it’s a love song
Britt: I would expect nothing else since you said it was about us. Do you remember the tiiime when we fell in love (yes, 6th grade lunch)
Me: hahahaha <3 our first date was Spanish class…blanca <3
Britt: Coincidence how my name was “white”
WELCOME
This page is all about the two most insanely stupid college students who just want to share their life with you all...why? Because our lives are so freakin ridiculous that it needs to be documented somewhere. So why not on a blog that no one but us will probably read anyway! In addition, we are not sparing any details on this site. We are not leaving out any details (it will get sexual) and we are not changing any names either. (risky we know) You will probably learn a lot about our personalities from our posts yet we will give you all a mini introduction. Oh and by the way our nick names come from the movie Pootie Tang...if you haven't seen it then you probably should...WADATAH.
Britt aka BAD BITTY: Attends university of Delaware. She basically drinks margaritas on a daily basis and falls for the worst guys possible. Her latest crush: a man covered in tattoos who is on house arrest and has a daughter. She has a delicious giant booty that most white girls wish they had. She also gets sick of things real easily and has the attention span of a 5 year old. (she is probably already sick of this site and she hasn't even written anything yet) She currently loves black guys and believes that her baby will be milk chocolate. While intoxicated she has broke her toe,chipped her teeth, chipped her toenail, taken a shower in her underwear, and cut up her ass while jumping a fence. Basically shit show #1.
Danielle aka DIRTY DEE (sometimes called dirty dan): Attends Villanova University. She is probably more normal when she drinks. Her legs are all scarred up from playing soccer, falling in heels, and branding herself with a key. Everyone makes fun of her gross feet and are frequently referred to as her "bear claws." She also has delicious-looking boobies. She is horrible at comebacks and is only funny when she acts like a complete moron...which is all of the time. She also does not speak english and talks in her own weird language. Only people who spend enough time with her start to understand what she is really talking about. She does not really have a taste in guys but usually falls for the guys who play the "victim." Also many short guys are attracted to her due to her boobies being eye-level. She also is addicted to food and looks forward to the next time she gets to eat again. Basically shit show #2.
Britt aka BAD BITTY: Attends university of Delaware. She basically drinks margaritas on a daily basis and falls for the worst guys possible. Her latest crush: a man covered in tattoos who is on house arrest and has a daughter. She has a delicious giant booty that most white girls wish they had. She also gets sick of things real easily and has the attention span of a 5 year old. (she is probably already sick of this site and she hasn't even written anything yet) She currently loves black guys and believes that her baby will be milk chocolate. While intoxicated she has broke her toe,chipped her teeth, chipped her toenail, taken a shower in her underwear, and cut up her ass while jumping a fence. Basically shit show #1.
Danielle aka DIRTY DEE (sometimes called dirty dan): Attends Villanova University. She is probably more normal when she drinks. Her legs are all scarred up from playing soccer, falling in heels, and branding herself with a key. Everyone makes fun of her gross feet and are frequently referred to as her "bear claws." She also has delicious-looking boobies. She is horrible at comebacks and is only funny when she acts like a complete moron...which is all of the time. She also does not speak english and talks in her own weird language. Only people who spend enough time with her start to understand what she is really talking about. She does not really have a taste in guys but usually falls for the guys who play the "victim." Also many short guys are attracted to her due to her boobies being eye-level. She also is addicted to food and looks forward to the next time she gets to eat again. Basically shit show #2.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)